Ok I am trying to live right, study the word as best as I can, do what is right and just live life as uncomplicated as I can. Saw something funny the other day. My neighbour who it seems suddenly has fallen into a windfall of cash and has two not-so-attractive girls visit him, was my source of amusement. It seemed that night around 7.30pm, a spiritual case of congee was holding him and he stood at the compound gate and made a call to one of his girlfriends. He kept persuading her to come but she kept giving excuse after excuse on why she couldn't make it down that night. Dude spent a large chunk of airtime trying to persuade her to make it but it was disappointed. While he did the begging and persuading, some thoughts occured to me and they were:

1. The girl definitely had a better deal from another guy, hence she decided to stay put. She was obviously not sleeping in her place.
2. Even if my neighbour wanted some pussy that night, he didn't have to act in such a horndog manner. That is an obvious no-no when pussy hunting
3. Mother thumb and her four sister were definitely going to eat a fat sausage that night.‎​=)) Ħǻªª˚°=D.Ħǻªª˚° \=D/.Ħǻªª˚°
I felt sorry for the dude and I understood the feeling cos I have been there and done that. I remember when one big breasted rat kept me going for about 5 months on promises of visiting me so I could satisfy my sexual urges. Damn! That rat was a temptation. I remember smiling to myself as my neighbour begged and persuaded this skinny looking girl on the phone. I smiled because I knew the feeling and it wasn't something I missed. Thank God I'm married now. I don't have to beg for sex from any dirty rat of a girl and make her feel she's important while begging.
Have a lot to pray about and I know God is gonna hear and answer me because I am beginning to see what sonship with God really means.

Gosh! I miss my parents so much. Those guys mean the world to me besides my sweetheart. I mean, they gave me the best in life and I'm gonna honour them and reciprocate in the best possible way I can. God please uplift me from this level and place me in Heavenly places with you oh Lord. I need your hands in my life. Amen

Ok. This morning went well. Woke up feeling not-too-happy (in Nigeria one hardly wakes up feeling very happy). She tried to cheer me up and succeeded. Well, I guess she's the only thing that really makes sense these days in these senseless days where everything seems so fucked up. I keep wondering when I am going to finally be with her. Finally.
Ok my day went quite well. Routine, but went well. Trying to keep myself happy and stay positive in all I do. Still seeking what happiness means. Got called by mum and that was definitely a plus and added some joy. I guess a mum would always be a mum; asking me about the job, if I was well, if I had eaten,etc. God I love that woman.
I hope Paul wins the prize money cos that will be a plus for him and add a little joy to his life. God comfort that guy.

HOMe aNd wHAt it HaS BeCOme

Nigeria is a place I call home. It is where I am free to do whatever I want to, go wherever I want, eat whatever I want, etc. But in recent times, home has become a living nightmare. Growing up, I was shielded by loving parent who did all they could to give me the best. I lived in the best part of Nigeria and went to the best schools this land had to offer. I thank God for my parents. God bless them.

Now I'm on my own and I have come to see what my home has become. Its really hard seeing what manner of poverty and hopelessness Nigeria has been thrown into. The youth go around with hollow looks in their eyes, betrayed by the very ones who reaped the best the land had to offer in its blossoming years. I can't fathom what Babangida, Obj and their likes were thinking about when they raped the country blind. The very country that gave them everything for almost free. Free education, scholarships, accommodation, feeding, etc. What manner of greed would make a man steal more than he can manage in 10 lifetimes, lived in perpectual idleness and bliss?

I saw something 2 weeks ago that tore my heart out. As I left my street and was on my way to work, I saw a bare-chested young man behaving in a funny manner. On close-up survellance, he had an abnormal goofy smile on and acted in a crazy manner. If not for his weird conduct, one would have mistaken him for a manual labourer going about his duties. It didn't take me long to see that he had just gone nuts no longer than 48hrs ago. I wished I had the antidote for his condition. Another young soul lost to the black-hole of lunacy. I thought about what manner of emptiness would make a young man take up cannabis to fill in the void in his soul. It doesn't help to know that the cannabis business in this city is done openly without control or regulation.

Its a hard life we live in this country. Recent times have brought about a sharp spike in the rate of suicide among the youth and it all reflects back to the ruined economy and society.

I'm still trying to find the meaning to this life and put a few smiles on a few faces. I do ther latter by not witholding my helping hand from anyone, be it in aid or financially. Giving seems to be the only thing I can do which reduces the heaviness I feel in my heart almost everyday. I just want to contribute my quota to life in the best way I can within my given means.

I hope for better days.

tHe seEkinG miNd

Ok I got married a few months ago and she happened to be my kindergarten love. Were always seen together hand-in-hand back then in kindergarten. I sure can remember some parts of it but my mum is always there to fill in the blank spaces in my mind.

Ok married people are meant to be matured right? Aye admiral! She is matured in her mind; yes she is. She is smart: much too smart for her age. But she is just a big baby and at this stage in my life, I can't be baby-sitting anyone.

Its so terrible that we are presently separated; I reside in Nigeria while she is abroad, living the American dream. Its just a temporary thing till we are able to put certain things in place. She just cries and whines about everything and I'm getting really pissed at this but as a caring husband, I guess I'm supposed to put up with all her babbling right? ‎​=)) Ħǻªª˚°=D.Ħǻªª˚° \=D/.Ħǻªª˚°. I guess that's marriage; always do all you can to make ur missus happy. Well I'm trying my best as far as I can and as far as the Nigherian situation allows to to. I pray God helps me to be a good husband to the woman I have decided to always be with.

Amen.

about ThE tRue StaTe oF mY miND

Sometimes we tend to seek the real truth that leads to true happiness but when one feat is achieved, another seems to elevate its head and beckon us to draw nearer and conquer. True happiness is what I have always wanted and I need it cos it what everyman wants.

This and other things I need and I hope to make that journey to fulfil true happiness.

ThE SeekiNg MiNd